For Lily, not.

This was a freaking long time ago! Hahaha! Wow, let's do this again sometime.

Hawaii Monkey.

I hate not going to school making up all the school work you miss is terrible. It's like ten times worse then going to school cause you have like double the work now and a very limited amount of time to do it. I wanna take the whole week off, but I don't know if my parents are gonna let me. Haha, shoot! I went to the fastpitch game today and we definitely lost, but oh well. I got in trouble for driving to Kentridge and now my dad thinks I'm up to no good, but I guess that's life. Hahaa.

I need to learn how to be less competitive and less .. annoying. Haha. I need people to tell me when I'm talking to much because I really think I do talk a lot. Especially in Ms. Rue's class. My mouth is like running and running. I've been doing pretty well with this whole losing weight thing cause I've been sick, but I just ate a whole bag of chips today and a cup of clam chowder that tasted like sh-.

Remember when I used to sing all the time? Shoot, I really do miss that. :( Oh and my phone just died. Haha. I haven't charged it recently. Hahah!

Well, I'm gonna attempt to finish my homework. wtf. Hahaha, I hate school! I can't wait until it's over. Like two more months? I'm counting down!

i'm sick.

johnny came over and took care of me,
bradley mary & david randomly stopped by my house and I was pretty pissed.
the future's scary
my sister's a golddigga!
my back hurts like a MF
I'm not playing tomorrow's game
but I HAVE to play Thursday, I'm making myself
hahahaha, I hate school
I'm glad I didn't go
but I miss people!
I love the sun, but I'm stuck inside
People got me scared about this swine flu stuff

shoot I'm so sick right now!

Blogging from my phone, i'm loving weather right now. I was eating chips and i cut my mouth. Flight got delayed. Going to cheer in a bit, it's gonna be hell. Okay bye. :)

Help me find myself

I can't wait until I get my car so I can play ghost ride the whip, haha!

Lily and I are talking about Cheer right now and it seems like everytime I talk more and more about something, the more I realize I hate it. I've been grinding my teeth and like biting down on my jaw really really hard and now my teeth hurt so bad. My head kind of hurts and so does my stomach. I didn't shower yesterday so my hair smells like bad bad bad. I dyed Ana's hurr yesterday and it took so long! Haha, it looks nice though. I really like it. I want to dye my hair but then I don't. I cut it yesterday. Just a little trim and my layers are nicer looking. My grades are a whole bunch of shhhhhhhhh right now. I really wish I didn't slack off so much. Well, passing period, I'll blog in a little bit. :)

I'm on the bus going to kentwood for our game that i was hoping was gonna get canceled today. Haha. Blogging from my phone actually is kinda cool huh. I'm really sleepy right now and i want to eat a lot, but i'm not going to.

I've always hated this class.

Wow, I realized that over the school year, I've changed a lot. It's only been like 7 months since school started,

I'm cocky,

I have a attitude,
I'm lazy,

I gained 20 lbs (HOLY COW)

I don't get my work in on time,

I'm not motivated,

I skip school,

None of these things have changed.

But I realized that

I've gotten a lot taller compared to Priscilla,

I've gotten a whole lot bigger in general,

I'm more nice, generous and considerate, *but I always have been, soo...

People change over time, I just did... a whole lot faster than others. Haha. I really want to go shopping, I'm trying to find money around my house and do whatever I need to get it. Which reminds me, I need to apply for jobs if I don't get that Wildwaves one. :( I will serioulsy be so sad if I don't! Awwwwwwwh. But oh well, I'll find a place to work. I really want my license, but I don't want my license. I'm so indecisive, jeez. Haha.

So we're not going to California in the summer so that relieves a lot of stress for me, but that also makes me sad. Haha. I wanted to go visit! :( Oh well,

home can wait, right?

I pretty much blog about nothing nowadays.

My throat hurts.

Ms. J just broke the news to us that she's preggo, hahaa. Even though it's hella obvious. :) I really do like her. She's great! I'm probably not going to school on Friday. I wanna go to Alki & maybe shopping in downtown cos I'm going to California for the weekend for emergencies. Who wants to go?! I'll pick you up. :) Lolol.

Uhm, Science WASL was boojie. I failed that like so easily, I don't even know why. There's a lot of things I need to do the next few months of school,
Get my grades up,
Leadership,
Multicultural Assembly/Sadies,
Cheer,
Fastpitch/Watanabe,
I don't know anymore. Haha.

I need to get a new phone. Priscilla wants the Samsung Epix, Johnny wants the Blackberry Bold, and Johnny's mom wants my phone, haha! When I get monies, I'll get em all.

Wow, I really need to get out of the house/neighborhood. Hang out more.

10 reasons to smile from about.com

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive
We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in.

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood
Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There's a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious
When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress
Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don't go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day -- you'll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive
Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It's hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that "Life is Good!" Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling

so much food.

I just got confirmed today! hooray. I feel like super Catholic right now. Haha, it's a good feeling. I've never been so holy. Actually I have. It feels nice having to re-new that feeling after a long term of BAD DECISIONS. There's a lot of people at my house right now and it's fun having these people over! I love them a lot alot and this is why I realized that I don't really need friends, because my family is the best! But I also love my friends. Like a lot. I'm wearing Nathan's yellow sweater right now and it feels nice to wear.

Wildwaves interview today, hella scary, not gonna lie. There was a lot of people there and I hate hearing people who got like 2nd interviews and they. They said they'll keep in touch with my, and like whatever. But I don't know. I'm applying other places just in case I don't get the job. Damn my age. Lol. I have to be so young, huh! Oh well, I'll make money somehow. If not, then I'll enjoy another stressfree boring summer! Haha, I'm excited for my license so I can be like in & out whenever, but I'm really gonna limit that.

I think I'm gonna work at Fred Meyers, it's close and uhm, exciting. :) Not.

pregnant.

NOT.

but my stomach really does hurt, and I feel like I'm gonna barf. Ms. Rue just came in and yelled at me (not really) for not giving her back the camera. Sorry, Rueski! We're going over WASL stuff in Biology right now and that makes me want to cry. Haha, I'm so bad at Science and I don't wanna take the WASL on Monday. I'm just gonna make sure I get lots of sleep so it'll be okay. Haha. Right? I'm pretty sure I'll do well.

Lots of events going on in the next few weeks.
Getting Confirmed on Saturday + Open Interview Fair @ Wildwaves.
I'm going to surprise emergency California next weekend. Friday Night - Sunday morning.
April 30th, Career Day?
May 2nd, Nathan gets confirmed I think.
May 5th, Nashelle's Birthday
May 7th, Lilichka's and Rykiel's Birthday
May 8th, Multicultural Assembly
May 9th, Sadies!
May 27th, Birthday
May 29-31, Relay for Life & DTDP Camp

I really do hope I get my license on time. I think I'm going to Diamond today to FINALLY take my Driver's Ed test. Haha. I was really supposed to do that a few months ago but I've gotten too lazy. I need to give Lilichka her book back as well. Bahaha.

I had a nice time yesterday talking with Johnny about Life. It was interesting to see how different our aspects are on different topics. But in the end we kind of came to a consensus on how we see things and we're kind of alike. Haha. "f*** that 'opposites attract' bullshit, if you don't like the same things then you're not gonna get along!" - Nathan. Tehehe.

Nathan is the coolest kid ever. Hopefully he'll be able to go to Confirmation ceremony, cos I really want to go to his. Lalala!

Well Ms. J thinks I'm up to no good, so good day.

Wow. Blog from my phone.

Dee N Aye.

the fancy double helix, huh.

Ralph just told me that when I wear no jacket, I look a lot more buff than I usually do. Haha, I wear sweatshirts to make me look smaller, and when I take it off, it's like. Wow, cute body. :) Haha, too bad I've been gaining a butt load of weight. :( I'm working on it. Lol.

So I basically failed my math test. I'm still surprised that I'm still maintaining a C- in that class. I need to prioritize the next couple days, weeks, and months. Cos my grades are going crazy!

I'm the biggest procrastinator on the heart of this planet right now. Haha. I whine & complain a lot to my teachers and now they hate me. But whatever, I'm leaving them for good next year. I really wish I had some more male teachers, cos these femmes are killing me. Too emotional, too personal, too blunt, it kills. I need a little spice in my life.

I really need to go do my religious myths project because it's due at midnight tonite for me, but i'm so lazy!

I'm onna boat.

I just realized that I'm a really bad girlfriend. Haha. (and I make a lot of lists, and here's another one)

1. I never talk on the phone, but I talk a lot a lot when we text.
2. I never show my emotions ever. haha.
3. I'm the biggest jerk in jerk history.
4. Yeah pretty much.

CWI sucks, my grades suck, i hate life. jk.
but i really want summer & birthday to go.

I don't know if I told you this but starting May 1st, I'm not going to talk about my birthday once. Just to see who'd remember. Hahahahaa.

fuck up.

just go ahead let your hair down.

I realized only a couple hours ago that I'm really bad at making people feel better when they're in crappy situations. Like, when someone starts crying in front of me, I have no idea what to do. When someone's mad, I have no idea how to cheer them up. Like... it shouldn't be that hard right? But it's definitely a struggle for me. I never knew how much worse I made situations for people. I should just shut up sometimes and not even try because it will go no where with me. Sorry!

Jesus rises to heaven! Yummy. I can play video games and I'm now a free woman! Haha, just kidding. I still got stuff on the lockdown for my homeboy, J. I really have to start getting my head out of my butt and start working hard for school. Cause shoot, my grades are gonna start dropping quicker than Lindsey Lohan's pants if I keep on working like this. I don't mind staying up at night, but I can't always guarantee I'll always be awake during the day. Which is 10x worse because I'm missing loads of instruction. Oh well.

I'm definitely looking forward to a lot of things.
1. My birthday (I get my license!)
2. One3one, who wants to go?!
3. DTDP Camp (sadly it's the same weekend as Relay for Life, so I can't go! Sorry Sue, I love you girl!)
4. California in July! WHAT'S GOOD SANTA CRUZ.
5. End of fastpitch season in general.
6. End of school.

I get confirmed this Saturday and I'm scared shitless. Lol. The wildwaves interview thing is also Saturday. (SUE?! LILY?!) I wanna go because for some odd reason, I really want that job. But that means I'll have to lose loads of pounds to look good in that cute one piece & shorts. :) I'm trying to get that summer body I've wanted for like 3 years but I'm such a sluffer. Haha. But I'm excited.

Goals for now:
1. Eliminate bad words from my vocabulary (it's already almost there)
2. Get my act together (school wise & Jesus)
3. Stay home & help Momma.
4. Chicks before Dicks
5. Negative 10 lbs. Haha.

love has no distance.

I'm so high on life & love right now. It's great.

I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I don't let things of the past bother me.

Like for example, if someone has a bad reputation, I don't think of that when I'm with them, because it really doesn't matter to me. But a bad rep is a bad rep. I mean, they must have done something to get it. Haha, right? But I really look past that. I mean, it doesn't matter to me, a lot. Though it should. I don't know where I'm doing with this, but whatever. :)

Twitter is funny : twitter.com/quantumphysixcs

Word vomit is the worst.

i need a new phone.

actually I don't, I just want one. Haha.
tbc.

Cause my head I'll be right there where you are.

So I've made a lot of the bad decisions in my life (ahhaha, blog name = bad decisions) and like, I really need to think of what really matters to me. I need to set my priorities straight and think of the things that really do matter. Who I want in my life, who I NEED in my life, and who doesn't really matter. I mean, there are a lot a lot a lot of things that I want but a lot of those things are materialistic, and they aren't things that will benefit. I don't always make the most logical decisions ALL the time, but I mean, at least I acknowledge these things, right?

I had a nice long long long talk with Nathan earlier this night, and I'm happy I did. I realized a lot of things.
1. I'm a bitch.
2. I'm really really ignorant and oblivious
3. I'm hella fcking selfish, shit !

Like, I need to fix these things before it gets out of hand.
The nicest thing I heard today from who I least expected it was
"No matter where you leave me, I'll still be here."

thankssssss !

Knock You Down

Holy granola, it was so sunny today. I can feel the summer heat coming along! :) I'm so excited. My summer is gonna consist of driving around, exploring, lots of shopping, work, frans & house parties, and catching up on love. Haha. I'm kind of excited of the thought of so much freedom when I'll have my license, but I really don't want it. It'll be a lifetime of sin once I get handed that plastic card. I'm going to try my best to hang out at the minimum of like once a week only. And if it's more than that, then I'm giving myself a curfew of 7pm, because I really don't want my parents worrying about me or being disappointed in me, or telling me that I'm not spending a lot of time at home. I hate that because I really do love home. And it's always family first ! :)

But I need to go rent Pineapple Express because I want to watch that movie again. :) Who wants to watch with me!

oh and I get confirmed in like two weeks, and I'm scared out of my mind!

try to aim better.

and God had to make women so stinking moody all the time didn't he?
Definitely the worst week ever this year, and I'm so excited for Spring Break.
Time to get away, think for myself, etc.

151 rum, pineapple juice & malibu, caribou, getem all numb.

Not a good, week. Too much stuff going on.
I found out some bittersweet news today, but I don't know.
It was bound to happen. I feel really bad for him, and things will be very different next year,
but let's hope it's for the better. :)

Nathan is a cool kid. I enjoy talking to him about life & girlfriends. It was very nice catching up with him yesterday although it didn't really go as planned. I'm trying to live with no regrets, but it's really hard when you have so many people around you disappointed in you. Haha. My biggest fear is the fear of me disappointing my loved ones in the future. I'm so sure I'll change after that. I talked to Jesus yesterday and he kind of helped me throw in some sense into my brain, but otherwise, I don't know.

Lots of stuff going on, and I just want spring break to come. Hopefully nothing goes wrong next week because then April will be ruined. I'm sorry.

Okay bye.

bad decisions mother f.

what the fuck.
i'm fucking up so early it's not even ... like what the hell are you doing quan?!
Lily's right, some things ARE better unsaid, but I made a good decision cause I told him what was going on right? Like, better me telling him than having him find out. Or better me telling him than having him not know at all and having it be in the back of my conscience. If it's done, then it's done, whatever. I'll miss it even though it's still early, but I don't efn know anymore, shit.

Today was fun, under my balcony & my umbrella with water bottles pens 7up etcetera. but still, I'm pissed. I've been having the worst week of my whole entire life. I don't know, I'm not ready to have people leave me next year yet and I'm just like tweaking over nothing. I can't wait until spring break, my goodness. dskjfaslkdjfsaldkfjsa;df.

I just need some Jesus time.
It was a one time thing and one time only. That's it, I'm done.