"You just need to find someone that will accept you for who you are. If it doesn't work out then everything happens for a reason. If it comes back, that means it was meant to be there." -Hork
Hmm, you're really testing me now.

Every little thing I do, you are.

I tweeted this but I'm gonna say it again:
Sometimes I ask myself if these things are really worth it, and I get upset cos most of the time, I know it's not.

You know, I don't know why I set myself up for all of these things. I don't know why I let myself go through all of this unneccesary drama, but I really don't need it. I really do like how things are going but I'm living a life of sin right now. It's so bad, it's unbearable. I need Jesus more than ever right now. Sometimes, I wish I could rewind and start over.

I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry jesus. I'm so sorry.

Someone please tell me if this is stupid or not:

Quan: You shouldn't trust people so easily in the first place. Haha, cos then this stuff happens. But people make mistakes, they do dumb things, they need to be forgiven eventually.

Johnny: Man like the time you smoked weed I was in denial.

Quan: I was like living in the biggest world of regret, but there's nothing you can do about it. So I'm just making sure it's never again.

Johnny: That made me not want to trust you again but eh.

Quan: If you didn't then it's completely understandable. I couldn't do anything about it.

Johnny: You could have prevent it act whatever it happened, so iam stop talking about it.

Quan: I could have, but I didn't. Therefore it's my fault. So I'd understand every negative feeling you had towards me.

Johnny: Let's talk about something else, this makes me mad and don't trust you.

Quan: I hope trust isn't gonna be that big of an issue in the future.

Johnny: It is kinda for me right now, but I don't want to say anything.

Quan: Well if it's a problem then that's not okay :/

Johnny: Well it's been done babe, and I don't know. It's hard for me to trust, I been cheated and lied to too many times.

Quan: and you think I haven't? I trust you and I'll take your word for whatever you say. But I know if something happens (which it won't) then I'll be mad at myself.

Johnny: Well anyways, have fun tomorrow and I don't know my plans yet.

Quan: You have fun doing whatever as well babe, I'm not gonna do anything stupid so don't even worry about it. Take my word.

Johnny: You think that helps? Alright I guess, if anything your loss.

Quan: I don't know if I can say or do anything at this point. Just hope that I'll regain everything back.

Johnny: I don't know. I don't care, do whatever you like, just don't regret it.

Quan: Well I don't want you to doubt me and my actions and think I'll be like wreckless, cos that's what I'm getting from you right now.

Johnny: Honestly, that's what iam thinking right now. Like I said, sometimes I don't know your actions and sometimes I do. Somethings that you do, I don't find out until weeks later.

Quan: What's the worst thing I can do. I'm not drinking or smoking weed becos I'll die the instant it gets into my system. I'm not gonna cheat on you because that's just not something I do. I told you before this relationship that I'm gonna stay faithful and that's what I still intend on doing, now & always.

Johnny: I don't know, at this point everything will be freestyle.

Quan: It seems to me like you're intentionally pushing me away cos you're afraid I'm gonna hurt you or something. And I'm not so comfortable with that.

Johnny: Well iam sorry you feel that way. I don't want to end up feeling stupid, you said you don't like some things and was against it but turns out you did it anyways, how should I cope with that? Tell me.

Quan: I took a hit, that's it. Just one. I wasn't completely blazed. Nothing hurts curiousity, but it is my fault and I admitted it. I was being a hypocrite and I'm sorry. But nobody's perfect.

Johnny: Yeah so what iam saying is what makes you think iam trust you when you say you're not going to cheat.

Quan: Because cheating to me is on a whole different level. What's the point of being in a relationship, so I can intentionally do something stupid with another guy? I'd never want to be cheated on by you, so I won't do it to you.

Johnny: If you say so? If you know yourself and whatever then good I guess, but iam whatever now so do what makes you happy.

Quan: I'm obviously not gonna be happy if you're not. But whatever.

Johnny: Yeah whateva.
----------------------------------------------------

Honestly, I don't understand where he'd even get the idea that I would cheat on him. Wow. I'm disappointed, mad, upset, confused, in shock, etc.

Happy Birthday to Lilifer & @fatrykiel

It's funny how when I start talking about Ms. Hunt without directly saying her name, people already automatically know I'm talking about her. Haha. Btw, I'm pregnant, SIIIIIIIKE.


Today's a good day.

Details in the Fabric

If it's a broken part, replace it.
If it's a broken arm, then brace it.
If it's a broken heart, then face it.

I definitely smell like Polo Ralph Lauren Black Cologne right now. Haa. I'm so hungry you don't even know. But I had breakfast this morning! I'm so excited to go to Biology for some reason. I just hate every other class like so much that Biology is definitely my favorite class.

I'll blog later, I'm too lazy.
I want a double cheeseburger from mcdonalds.

edit://
So I'm kind of in like a "i hate things" mood. Haha. I'm so pissed, I have no idea why. Or well, sue & I are planning a mass murder, and that's part of the reason. Bahaha. Also because boyfriends are stressful sometimes. Only sometimes, not all the time. Just sometimes.

I love you.

oh git it git it git it.

I'm so in love. Gabe Bondoc is such a beautiful person. Haha, the concert was very very very good. I would show you pictures, but they're all on facebook right now. I went with my cousin & her boyfriend, plus my boyfriend and my sister. I got home around 12:30 at night, and the next day I woke up at 7:30 to go to church. I had DTDP classes then had nothing to do for 2 hours. I ended up going home and then going to church with Johnny & my sister at 5:30 ish. Afterwards, we dropped my sister at home and I took him to Goodwill so we could drop off clothes and then we bought food and I did my homework while he cleaned his closet. I got most of my math homework done but I'm still so confused. It's all really really hard. Haha, I don't get any of it. :/



Oh yeah, we had Little Royals Cheer Clinic. The last two hours of it were the longest MF hours of my life. Hahha. I went home to take a dump and kill time. The girls were cute and stuff but they started to get really annoying. But whatever. It was over in no time. Then I went shopping with Johnny and got my new camera charger and new batting gloves. It was nice. :) I really can't wait until I get my license. My parents can't wait either, shoot. Haha. I just want school to be over. I hate school so much.


I need to get my grades up.

Girl from Ipanema

I'm so sleepy right now.
edit://
I fucking hate this motherf class. so much. I swear to god, I'm gonna stab her. I'm so angry.