Doing all I can to avoid my NAFTA project

*disclaimer: it gets pretty gross. Haha. Avg. conversation between me & johnny.
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Johnny: Yea right i know iam cute so it don't matter stop hating, this calls for that iam fly song by gabe.

Quan: Shut up Gabe platys for no one but me.

Johnny: Yea keep dreaming babe, it's okay megan good has my kids but no one knows ha!

Quan: I hope you get hep c.

Johnny: Shut up, you got hep b, so you shut up.

Quan: You have orchitis. That's why your balls hurt.

Johnny: You know what babe, balls don't hurt anymore so ha!

Quan: Do you want them to hurt again?

Johnny: Do you want it on your face sucka!

Quan: I'm throwing you in the lake when we go camping.

Johnny: You think you can pick me up babe?

Quan: I'll drag you. If not. then you're sleeping outside.

Johnny: What the hell, 1. Iam not sleeping outside, 2. Your not dragging anyone, 3. You don't wanna get beat up and be in the lake naked

Quan: I'm a light sleeper. I'll make up and I'll pee on you for even trying.

Johnny: Iam to I wake up if one little thing touches me, and if you ever piss on me, i will make sure you get jizzed on.

Quan: Haha, I'll make sure I'm on my period when I piss on you.

Johnny: I'll make sure ill jizz and piss on your face.

Quan: You'll come home to cracked effs all over your gucci sheets.

Johnny: I'm locking my door from now on, and you're going to come home with no trans am.

Quan: Do that and I'll make sure your moped will get turned inside out.

Johnny: You mean ducati babe? and sheesh ill put that in my room.

Quan: I'll beat your door down with my bat and throw your bike down the window.

Johnny: You can't even pick me up how are you going to pick up a bike?

Quan: Who said I'll have to be gentle with it.

Johnny: Calm down babe, wow.