I'm going back to xanga.

http://www.xanga.com/shoinks__wan

my comments link

works now.

Family Matters

So last night I went out to eat at honey court with Amy, Khoa, Cousins, and some church people. It was nice. Eating at night is no good. Haha, I drove there and back cos Judy didn't want to drive in Seattle, and since I've been there before, I offered. Yummy food. It came out to be at least a hundred dollars for 10 people. Not so bad! I came home around like 12:30 ish. I stayed up until 2:30 because I had to type up a 20 page bid for my dad. There was so many numbers, I was getting so sick of it! I couldn't keep my eyes open so I decided to take a nap. I woke up again at 6, then did some. Drove myself to Starbucks, got coffee, and worked non-stop for 6hrs until about 1ish while watching The Hills. There were so many numbers to type up. I was getting so restless. I stayed in one position for the longest time and everytime I got up, I was dizzy.

I went to Johnny's today for a little make-up talk, and we're okay now. I get cake like everday my birthday. The prelude seems to be working fine. David just needs to be a better driver. I think I'm going to drive to school on Monday because I got my license. I'm kind of excited because I don't have to worry about getting pulled over so much anymore, but really... it's just gonna be the same. I'm probably barely ever gonna drive anywhere. 1. I hate driving, 2. I have no gas money, 3. Where am I gonna go? Hahaha.

There was a family party today at my aunt's house for my cousin's 2nd birthday. Let me tell you, that was the most intense party I've been to. The parents were arguing and they weren't even drunk! There was constant yelling and screaming in the house, begging on knees (I'm not lying) and so many tears. What a great way to spend a 2 year old's birthday.

I just got home. I'm kind of tired because I barely got any sleep. My honor's project is due Monday night, and I haven't even started on that the least bit. and you wanna know something great? Our computers are being taken away tomorrow. WTF. So I absolutely HAVE to stay up tomorrow night and finish it or I'm dead meat! I'll have lots of coffee and I'll probably take a big ass nap before I start my project so I have a little boost. :) I'm so happy for school to be over, but I'm not. This is gonna be the last time I'm gonna see a LOT of these people. So sad. :(

Someone love me!

It really does taste like water.

Wow I didn't realize how easy it was for this to go down. :) haha.

I need to finish my CWI project and I'm done for the year. Haha. The only problem is that I didn't start it yet. I really have no idea if I'm going to be able to finish it by Monday. Probably. Work Friday during 1st period for two hours since I'm done with my final, Work all day Saturday, Sunday night, and monday night, then sure. I'll get it done. Let's just hope I follow through with my plan. Hah. I don't know what I'm doing with my summer yet. haha. Hopefully it won't be boring and I won't have to spend half of it crying my eyes out like I did last summer when Martin left for a month and a half. Haha.

I'm done bloggin. Hopefully I won't wake up funny feeling.

So far

1st Digital Design: Complete; not graded
2nd Pre-Calc Trig: 160/200
3rd Biology: Not graded
4th English: 83%
5th CWI: 75/80 :)
6th French: Not graded

I'm happy so far.
Leadership needs to be an A. I could care less about math. It could stay a B. Haha. I'm giving Horner my extra credit SLC coupons when he comes back. I pray and hope that he's here on Monday because I cannot have a B in Leadership wtf ! I'm so happy for school to be over. I'm excited for next week. Just one full day and a BS day. I'm still deciding on whether or not I wanna go to school on Monday. Haha. Happy Early Birthday Sue. I got you the best present. Or at least I love it! SHOOT. If I got this, I'd be so happy! Hahha. Anyways, enough.

My bonfire is next friday the 26th. Who's going? Invite anyone you want.
Call or text me about it.

If you seek amy

Final one is done. I have three more to go! I just need to finish my digital design final and do my lesson for Ms. Rue. It's about to be boss status. Haha. I'm so done with school! I'm satisfied with my semester grades. I know for sure Leadership's gonna be an A and Mr. Huck's class will be an A. For math, I can settle with a B. Haha, I don't care. :) I'm gonna get my license on friday and then next week hopefully I'll get my 24 membership so I'll be hitting that up everyday! I'm trying to lose like 10 lbs this summer, and so I'll be nice and little. Haha.

I'm so hungry right now. and I want cake.

To Woman: Love, God.

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.

Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you, I modeled you, I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib: strong, yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.

Support man as the ribcage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken for his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand by him and to be held close to his side.

You are My perfect angel.. you are My beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and My eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes.. don’t change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands, so gentle to touch. I have caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I have held your heart close to Mine. Of all that lives and breaths, you are most like Me. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not see Me or touch Me.

He could only feel Me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me, I fashioned in you: My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection, and support. You are special because you are an extension of Me. Man represent My image, woman My emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.

So man, treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. What you do to her, you do to Me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart; the heart of your Father and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

Seems to grow inside of me.

Wow, Mr. Mc is such a stalker. He needs to stop talking to little girls because that really creeps me out.

Anyways, Sophomore-wreck-Seniors-Cars day was today. I'm pretty sure we're assholes now, but whatever. Haha. We only did Hiep's, Hork's, Jill's, and James. Marco's was like a work-in-progress. Hahaha, his alarm went off like WTF! Scared the shit out of me. Hah. Oh well. My bonfire was supposed to be today but I'm rescheduling it for the 26th. How does that sound? I'm not doing anything tonight. I'll probably stay home and watch movies or something. I've been working my ass off trying to lose weight. I think it's working. I feel very very fit right now. I feel like this year, we're actually going to do stuff in Cheer, and I'm actually going to lose weight. Cheer seems okay now. There' just like one or two people I can't stand and that's it. But whatever, I'll get over it. I need to get my skirt tailored and get new shoes. I'm done with all my payments for the rest of the cheer season so I'm happy about that. I really can't wait until football season. I'll have my car and it will be hella fun. Our first game is like the first week we come back from school. But after football season, man I don't know. I know for sure I'm not doing competition because that's just too much. IB next year is going to be killer. The summer assignments really don't seem that bad but I don't know man. Hahaha. That's gonna be a lot to worry about. My life is going to be over after IB. I don't know if I have to quit any sports or activities next year, but I know for sure Leadership is gonna cut off a lot of slack for me. But that means I won't have anymore excuses to miss class. Sad.

I don't like blogging a lot.

Birthday, Prom, & Senior Skip Day

My birthday party was good. I scored $700ish dollars which is really amazing. I'm deciding on whether or not I want to get a lettermen's jacket, because it's a lot of money. and people lived without one. But I'd have so many letters on there. It'd be so legit. But whatever. I can buy even better things with $600ish dollars. There was a lot of good food but I was only at my party for like an hour. Because Ana came over and she did my makeup. I did Sue's hair and everything. I took Ana home and stopped by John's house for a little. My dad took me to prom and gave me the whole "no sex before marriage" "i'm worried for you." etc. All that stuff. But you know, he cares. I'm trying to stay home as much as possible, but I don't know if that's gonna work out. Honestly, I don't want to move out when I'm 18, but I kind of do. I'm still contemplating about it. I love my house and I love my family, and I'm so sure I can live on my own, but you know... it's weird. But prom was lots of fun. It was steaming hot but that made it seeeexy. Some people really can't dance, but some people can. It was funny. Ha, I really experienced something that I'll never ever want to experience ever again, but it's whatever. Isaiah, Davina, Hork and I went to Alki afterwards and it was really really really nice. We didn't get kicked off, surprisingly. I got home around 3:30 ish and my curfew was 1. HAHAH, oh well.

Senior Skip Day BBQ was today. I got a lot of sh- for being an underclassmen at Coulon but it's whatever. I'm master griller cos I made everyone's food. Spam Musubi is like really really good when you're hungry. Haha, I went to Skagen's house for a little bit and when everyone started to arrive, I had to leave. I felt bad but oh well, I have homework to do. Everything was fun! I smell like lake water because Hiep dumped a cooler of water on me and I got water ballooned so many times. But good thing I got legs and I can run fast, or else that would have been a different story. Lol. I'm so excited for my bonfire. Hopefully lots of people will show up or else somebody's gonna get a hurt realllll bad. Tehee,

well homework time.

CWI - Call To Action
CWI - Presentation
CWI - Honor's Project, oh shit.
IB Math Type II task
Biology Obesity Presentation
Digital Design Music Video Final

1. My throat feels so weird.
2. I get my license today hopefully.
3. I have Erica's yearbook and Erica has Hiep's. Hopefully she knows that.
4. I'm just happy that Prom's tomorrow.

Where did my sanity go?

In a matter of a few hours, my sanity completely left my brain.
I have yet to shower, and I've been studying for god knows how many hours!

I feel so good, yet I feel so shitty. I still have a whole lot to do. I'm going to work on my call to action and just get that part out of the way so I won't have to worry about a whole lot later on. CWI is definitely my hardest class (aside from math). I cannot stress how excited I am for this school year to be over. I'll have my license and car, and so I'm gonna to be lake bummin everyday. I need to work out during the summer. Everytime I talk about working out and losing weight, I never do. I don't know why. I think I just need to eat a lot less and I'll be content with my body. Last week was good because I barely ate, but after camp, I just started enjoying myself wayy too much. It's okay. Lol. I'm excited for prom and my bonfire next week. Hopefully all these people can make it cos then that will make it 10x cooler! It's going to be so exciting, but hopefully the sun won't be TOOOOO hot so we all don't burn up times two. Anyone's invited so let's all enjoy ourselves. I'm gonna tell everyone it starts at 6 or 7 and ends at 10-11 ish. Whenever people need to get home, then they can leave. Lol.

I need to get back to studying. :) Bye.

Plans for the end of the school year.

( ) License
( ) Prom
( ) Projects to do
( ) BBQ's and Bonfires
( ) Finals
( ) End of School year!

Projects to do:
IB Type I and Type II tasks (Pre-Calc)
CWI Honor's Project
CWI African Genocide Project
DNA Disease Presentation

Calendar:
June 6th; Prom
June 12; Bonfire @ Alki
June 13th; Graduation
June 17-19; Finals
June 21; Kerlyn's Birthday
June 22; Suby Booby's Birthday
June; Deejay's/Ena's Birthday and Last Day of School!

Bonfire Plans:
I'm going there around 4 or 5 if anyone wants to go with me!
I'm not gonna have it start until 6 or 7ish because that's when the sun will start going down and that's when people will be free.
I'll end it around 10pm ish and I can take some people home probably if they need it.
Uhm, SOME food will be provided but not a whole lot of it. (Eat before, or bring your own food).
I'm not cleaning up after your mess so, don't be messy. :)

How do you post comments on this junk?

I failed my written this morning. The questions where they asked me about "how many days after ____ should you get your ____." tricked me so bad! I was so confused. I was really praying in the middle of my test to God that I'd pass but I missed 6 and I had like 3 more. was upset. Oh well, I'm going back tomorrow before school, so that means I'm not sleeping in for Late start. Haha. Today's going to be a work day for me after school because I'm behind and I need to catch up. There's only a couple weeks of school left and I'm actually kind of upset because I need a lot more time to get my shit done. Lol. Math is killing me. I just need a decent semester grade. Swear to lordy that IB is gonna be a GPA killaaa for me next year. :/ I'm kind of upset, but it's whatever for me. I want to get my license. Prom's on saturday and things are all messed up and I don't care. Bonfire next friday. I'm excited. I need to buy burning wood and more lighter fluid. Hopefully it won't be too packed that day. But it still might be. I'm going hella soon right after school. Like around 4 or 5ish.

Just call me.

Bonfire the 12th! call me about it.

I need to fart.

1. I hate school.
2. There's so much to do before school ends.
3. I need to get my grades up pronto!
4. I really hope cheer doesn't suck next year, although it probably will.
5. Oh, and I'm not going to camp (which sucks for Nora and Nashelle) Sorry babies.
6. I'm never satisfied with my teachers.
7. I feel so gay everytime I say I love Ms. Jensen, but I really do.
8. and Ms. Reed's the only teacher that cares about me.
9. I'm happy she's teaching IB next year!
10. I don't have to worry about a lot then.
11. I have no idea where my future's going.
12. I kind of wish I was single again,
13. But a boyfriend is pretty cool as well.
14. I know things are wrong but I do them anyways.
15. I look at other people and see that it's okay because they do it, but sometimes it's not okay.
16. I need to lose a lot of weight.
17. I'm so happy Prom is coming up.
18. I'm taking my written on Monday!
19. Hopefully I'll get my license Tuesday or Wednesday.
20. I'm having a bonfire in about two weeks, anyone's invited.
21. Did I mention that I'm taking my written on Monday? and hopefully getting my license next wednesday.
22. I'll start driving to school! Yay.
23. I'll probably go home for lunch everyday because it's free and I hate school lunches.
24. I'm on a rice diet and it's actually working (Haha, ana)
25. There's parties like every weekend on every street corner.
26. I never go cos I don't want to.
27. I'm happy for clubone3one though.
28. I'm trying to imagine how summer's going to be.
29. Hopefully I can get a job. I'm still waiting on Wildwaves.
30. I'm supposed to call in mid-june, so my patience is unnerving.

Procrastination

I spent a nice couple hours with Hork today, and we talked about a lot. Lol, I'm starting to build a lot of trust for him. He's a good friend. I respect him cos he has a lot of good intentions, he just gets screwed over in the end cos girls are bitches! Rawr. Oh well. We got Hork's tux today and he's gonna have to pick it up on Thursday. Sad that we couldn't find a vest and tie that would match. But it's whatever. My color's a hard color to match with. I'm excited for Prom cos I'm in that dancing stage again. It's a once a quarter must-do type thing. Haha, I can't wait for Ana's 16th cos we're going to 131. Lilichka, yah? I'm so excited for school to be over, no joke. I'm so done and I'm so lazy. I have so many tests I still need to make up! Hahah, shoot! I'm failing two classes and I have a D in one class. It's horrible. I need to get those back up.

I've spent like hours on this blog. Haha. I quit.

I want to make love in this club.

1. Banquet was fun yesterday
2. I'm so tired right now
3. I look like I've been crying for days
4. Me and edith connect on a level that I've never thought before
5. hahaha, "I used to be so bad." pfft "I used to be so good."
6. Ms. Jensen's pregnant,
7. Speaking of pregnant, I found out yesterday that someone I know is pregnant.
8. It was so hard to believe.
9. I need to get more sleep.
10. Camp is in like two days and I'm totally not ready
11. I need to go to target soon again.
12. We're doing stuff with DNA in Biology right now
13. I'm so tired !
14. My eyes are falling out.

Birthday

Gifts:
Coach Shoes - Johnny
Animaland Stuffed Animal - Johnny's Momma
Starbucks Cup + Lip gloss and Lotion - Lilichka
Lighter Fluid (and non-existant zippo) - Nathan
KIX - Rykiel
Card - Sue & Jenna

Text Messages:
Peejay (&Gabe) , Marco, Nathan, Rykiel, Loan, Gelly, Anthony, Sean D, Thy, Lauren & Aline Golden, Leena, Amy, Deejay.

"Happy Birthday"
Johnny, Hork, Peejay, Davina, Hiep, Horner, Ralph, Kira, Leah, Nathan, Ana, Susane, Jenna, Jill, Edith, Larissa.

People who forgot but then remembered after a while:
MOMMA haha, Bradley, Mary, David, Chris, Mimi, Ashley S, Mustafa, Brandon E, Stephan ?, Watanabe, Josie, Jordan(s), Katie, Brittany, Mama Hondolero, Mark, Zeenis, Sierra & Liz, Madame, Nghi, Jiwon, Dmitriy, Ms. Hunt, Ms. Rue, + lots more.

That's all I remember for now.
Thanks everyone!

"How come you never blog?"

Well Happy Birthday to me today. Haha.
I've gotten lots of hugs and text messages, two gifts (one from Lillis and another from @fatrykiel). I've gotten a lot of new compliments on my new coach shoes. LOL.

"It's only coach." - Me
"Pfft, you say it like you wear million dollar coach shoes everyday." - Nathan
"ALL DAY EVERYDAY" - Me

Thanks Johnny. Haha.
His mother got me this monster looking purple stuffed animal with three eye-balls. And it's so cute! I have my banquet later on today and I'm excited but scared at the same time cos I don't know what's going to happen. Last year I got pied in the face and this year, who knows what I have in store. I'm excited to get my license. I want in sometime next week so I can drive myself to Prom so my boyfriend doesn't trip, HAHA. It's alright though.

I didn't go to school yesterday. I didn' t do much at home either. I finished some of my math homework but I'm still behind in class. I did Ana's hair again and I must say, it's cute. I had probably 8 jello shots when I realized that I'm not a lightweight. Shoot, Ana was tipsy after like 4. They were doubles too! I still have some, but they're at Johnny's house. Yesterday was the epitomy of why I hate vodka. I was blow drying Ana's hair and I went to go sit on my window sill and I almost fell out. It was freaking scary. @svhuong came over to my house yesterday too but only stayed for like 30 minutes. I bought those fatties taco bell. YUM. But then yesterday I realized that I definitely need to lose like 10lbs. RICE DIET, what's good. I have had no appetite the last few days, and it's weird cos I haven't done anything.

I was hungover this morning, and I was kind of surprised cos it was only Jello! Pfft. Maybe it's cos I made a new batch and used that crazy 3-star vodka that tastes like nail-polish remover. BAHAHHAHAA. Oh well.

I have camp this weekend and I'm gonna be so tired.

Calendar

Tonight; Choir, Sky Night, & Amylinh's Party
Saturday; Take Written and schedule drive, Dress shopping?
Sunday; DTDP Final, Church
Monday; Hurdles with Amy, Dinner with MILF & Johnny, Party afterwards?
Wednesday 27th; 16! Fastpitch Banquet @ Lake Meridian, and License, hopefully.
Thursday; Dinner w/ Rayden Cheung
Friday - Sunday; DTDP CAMP.

No Title.

We're learning about making babies in Ms. J's class! :)

Doing all I can to avoid my NAFTA project

*disclaimer: it gets pretty gross. Haha. Avg. conversation between me & johnny.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Johnny: Yea right i know iam cute so it don't matter stop hating, this calls for that iam fly song by gabe.

Quan: Shut up Gabe platys for no one but me.

Johnny: Yea keep dreaming babe, it's okay megan good has my kids but no one knows ha!

Quan: I hope you get hep c.

Johnny: Shut up, you got hep b, so you shut up.

Quan: You have orchitis. That's why your balls hurt.

Johnny: You know what babe, balls don't hurt anymore so ha!

Quan: Do you want them to hurt again?

Johnny: Do you want it on your face sucka!

Quan: I'm throwing you in the lake when we go camping.

Johnny: You think you can pick me up babe?

Quan: I'll drag you. If not. then you're sleeping outside.

Johnny: What the hell, 1. Iam not sleeping outside, 2. Your not dragging anyone, 3. You don't wanna get beat up and be in the lake naked

Quan: I'm a light sleeper. I'll make up and I'll pee on you for even trying.

Johnny: Iam to I wake up if one little thing touches me, and if you ever piss on me, i will make sure you get jizzed on.

Quan: Haha, I'll make sure I'm on my period when I piss on you.

Johnny: I'll make sure ill jizz and piss on your face.

Quan: You'll come home to cracked effs all over your gucci sheets.

Johnny: I'm locking my door from now on, and you're going to come home with no trans am.

Quan: Do that and I'll make sure your moped will get turned inside out.

Johnny: You mean ducati babe? and sheesh ill put that in my room.

Quan: I'll beat your door down with my bat and throw your bike down the window.

Johnny: You can't even pick me up how are you going to pick up a bike?

Quan: Who said I'll have to be gentle with it.

Johnny: Calm down babe, wow.

This is for Sue

Susane V. Huong,
I am terribly sad that you're leaving next year. Man we've been thru thick and thin and shoot, I'm going to miss seeing you everyday! You have to take at least one class at KM or something and at least go to lunch with us. Haha. I miss talking to you girl! What happened? Seems like we've been drifting away and I miss you. I like going over to your house, so I think I'm going to do that a lot more often (bad grammar) hah. Your room is so cute, and I love your living room. I like watching creepers walk by while we're watching movies or TV. Hahaa. And ling lings while watching Baby Momma. Nice. :) Se7en dancing in your brother's room. (How embarassing). Elmer Fudd and what was yours? Something Fred? I don't even remember, shoot. This was all so long ago. I still have our notes! They're all in a box in my room, and my goodness. We used to talk like little annoying teeny boppers. I remember all these nicknames we had! Peanutbutter and Jelly, Sue Jeezy and Quan Deezy, Master T0fu and ... something, SUGARPOO AND HONEYBOO. Lol, now that I think of it, wtf ? We were so weird! I loved going over to your house when you had dial-up and we'd go to Fred Meyers and waste our time to wait for our youtube video to only half-load when we'd come back. HAHA. We had so many songs. Grillz, This Is Why I'm Hot. And then we wore skirts over jeans, wtf? Why were we so weird! But girl I miss you! and I still love you! We will hang in the summer. Lakes, bbq's, party hardy!

and I swear, if I don't see you at least like once a week next year, I'm gonna throw a fit.

Gravity.

It's so beautiful out today! It was pretty nice yesterday too. I went over to Bf's house and we settled our little argument. (Like really, who says "I might get bored of you later, then I'll just give up and stop trying." ? Stupid douche.) But it's over. Haha. I'm glad that I got that off my mind. I went to a family party afterwards and it was fun. I got some of my homework done, but some of it not done. I have barely started on my NAFTA project and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail CWI because of this. But I don't care. I can't wait until I get a job. I really need to because I need to make money. Heo said she might be able to get me a job at Coldstone's, possibly. As long as I show up to the "audition" date. :) I'm excited to get my license. I'm probably going to renew my permit sometime this week and then take my written. I get insurance on my car on the 21st, and that's great! I will hopefully skip 6th period or something on my birthday and then go down to the DOL and take my drive test. Hopefully I can schedule it during school because I really want it ASAP. But I know once I get my license, I'm not gonna want to drive to school or drive anywhere period. I hate driving. I like having the freedom, but who cares. I like being at home anyways. Lol, but when summer hits, that's going to be a whole different story! :D

I'm waiting for all of these people to leave my house so I can possibluy go to alki. I'm trying to leave ASAP. It's so nice out and I really should be working on my project, but knowing that we live in Seattle, days like this aren't going to come every-so-often. :) I'm a sluffer. I don't know how I'm supposed to do IB next year.

I love blogging from my phone. :)

My teachers need to get boyfriends. Except Ms. Reed and Ms. J.

Piano Prodigy

Just went with the flow.

I was looking at baby pictures yesterday and they're so hilarious! I didn't know how cute I was when I was little until now. Lol. I wish I still looked like that, but it's okay. It's funny how sometimes when you look at kid's baby pictures, you can't even tell that it was that person. But mine are the complete opposite. Haha, you know for sure it's me. I looked a lot like my little sister (or she looked liked me) and I thought that was interesting cos we're not the least bit identical now. Ha, and I also looked like a little chinese girl. It's cute. I was fat and chubby, and pale, and my eyes were little. I made ugly faces and did weird things, but they're so funny. I can remember some of the things that happened in these pictures, hah. It's kind of weird. Anyways, I'm gonna scan some of them and post them on here, as well as facebook. It'll be great. I'll share my memories with you!

Hahaa. RIF notices were sent out yesterday and it's kind of disappointing. I don't like some of these teachers but it's a bad feeling that they got "fired". I'm happy Watanabe gets to keep fer job though! :)

I want to watch the middle school track meets. I think I'm gonna look up when they are right now. Haha, bye!

What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?

That literally made me laugh out loud. Haha, that's so funny.

I had a bipolar weekend. I spent Saturday driving Nathan & Thomas around here and there, then cleaning my house, getting some homework done, going to Johnny's, getting in fights, 7 alarm chicken, etc. Sunday morning I woke up at like 5am to take Thomas home from Dan's house all the way to Tacoma. We got lost trying to find our way back to 512, but we found it. I had a 7-11 slurpee at like 7am in the morning, but I don't care. Lol. Nathan really is a cool cat. I can't wait until I get my license, but I need to get insurance on my car. *sigh* There's a lot of stuff happening this month. I have camp the last weekend of May, and the preparations are going to be so stressful. Only 30 some days of school left and I'm so excited. :) Not too long until I can be free.

I'm so tired right now. and I want my lettermen's jacket! I'm wearing Jenna's right now and I just want to sleep in it. Haha.

oh and btw - Ms. Hunt took away my phone. stupid b.

It's almost unbearable.

"You just need to find someone that will accept you for who you are. If it doesn't work out then everything happens for a reason. If it comes back, that means it was meant to be there." -Hork
Hmm, you're really testing me now.

Every little thing I do, you are.

I tweeted this but I'm gonna say it again:
Sometimes I ask myself if these things are really worth it, and I get upset cos most of the time, I know it's not.

You know, I don't know why I set myself up for all of these things. I don't know why I let myself go through all of this unneccesary drama, but I really don't need it. I really do like how things are going but I'm living a life of sin right now. It's so bad, it's unbearable. I need Jesus more than ever right now. Sometimes, I wish I could rewind and start over.

I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry jesus. I'm so sorry.

Someone please tell me if this is stupid or not:

Quan: You shouldn't trust people so easily in the first place. Haha, cos then this stuff happens. But people make mistakes, they do dumb things, they need to be forgiven eventually.

Johnny: Man like the time you smoked weed I was in denial.

Quan: I was like living in the biggest world of regret, but there's nothing you can do about it. So I'm just making sure it's never again.

Johnny: That made me not want to trust you again but eh.

Quan: If you didn't then it's completely understandable. I couldn't do anything about it.

Johnny: You could have prevent it act whatever it happened, so iam stop talking about it.

Quan: I could have, but I didn't. Therefore it's my fault. So I'd understand every negative feeling you had towards me.

Johnny: Let's talk about something else, this makes me mad and don't trust you.

Quan: I hope trust isn't gonna be that big of an issue in the future.

Johnny: It is kinda for me right now, but I don't want to say anything.

Quan: Well if it's a problem then that's not okay :/

Johnny: Well it's been done babe, and I don't know. It's hard for me to trust, I been cheated and lied to too many times.

Quan: and you think I haven't? I trust you and I'll take your word for whatever you say. But I know if something happens (which it won't) then I'll be mad at myself.

Johnny: Well anyways, have fun tomorrow and I don't know my plans yet.

Quan: You have fun doing whatever as well babe, I'm not gonna do anything stupid so don't even worry about it. Take my word.

Johnny: You think that helps? Alright I guess, if anything your loss.

Quan: I don't know if I can say or do anything at this point. Just hope that I'll regain everything back.

Johnny: I don't know. I don't care, do whatever you like, just don't regret it.

Quan: Well I don't want you to doubt me and my actions and think I'll be like wreckless, cos that's what I'm getting from you right now.

Johnny: Honestly, that's what iam thinking right now. Like I said, sometimes I don't know your actions and sometimes I do. Somethings that you do, I don't find out until weeks later.

Quan: What's the worst thing I can do. I'm not drinking or smoking weed becos I'll die the instant it gets into my system. I'm not gonna cheat on you because that's just not something I do. I told you before this relationship that I'm gonna stay faithful and that's what I still intend on doing, now & always.

Johnny: I don't know, at this point everything will be freestyle.

Quan: It seems to me like you're intentionally pushing me away cos you're afraid I'm gonna hurt you or something. And I'm not so comfortable with that.

Johnny: Well iam sorry you feel that way. I don't want to end up feeling stupid, you said you don't like some things and was against it but turns out you did it anyways, how should I cope with that? Tell me.

Quan: I took a hit, that's it. Just one. I wasn't completely blazed. Nothing hurts curiousity, but it is my fault and I admitted it. I was being a hypocrite and I'm sorry. But nobody's perfect.

Johnny: Yeah so what iam saying is what makes you think iam trust you when you say you're not going to cheat.

Quan: Because cheating to me is on a whole different level. What's the point of being in a relationship, so I can intentionally do something stupid with another guy? I'd never want to be cheated on by you, so I won't do it to you.

Johnny: If you say so? If you know yourself and whatever then good I guess, but iam whatever now so do what makes you happy.

Quan: I'm obviously not gonna be happy if you're not. But whatever.

Johnny: Yeah whateva.
----------------------------------------------------

Honestly, I don't understand where he'd even get the idea that I would cheat on him. Wow. I'm disappointed, mad, upset, confused, in shock, etc.

Happy Birthday to Lilifer & @fatrykiel

It's funny how when I start talking about Ms. Hunt without directly saying her name, people already automatically know I'm talking about her. Haha. Btw, I'm pregnant, SIIIIIIIKE.


Today's a good day.

Details in the Fabric

If it's a broken part, replace it.
If it's a broken arm, then brace it.
If it's a broken heart, then face it.

I definitely smell like Polo Ralph Lauren Black Cologne right now. Haa. I'm so hungry you don't even know. But I had breakfast this morning! I'm so excited to go to Biology for some reason. I just hate every other class like so much that Biology is definitely my favorite class.

I'll blog later, I'm too lazy.
I want a double cheeseburger from mcdonalds.

edit://
So I'm kind of in like a "i hate things" mood. Haha. I'm so pissed, I have no idea why. Or well, sue & I are planning a mass murder, and that's part of the reason. Bahaha. Also because boyfriends are stressful sometimes. Only sometimes, not all the time. Just sometimes.

I love you.

oh git it git it git it.

I'm so in love. Gabe Bondoc is such a beautiful person. Haha, the concert was very very very good. I would show you pictures, but they're all on facebook right now. I went with my cousin & her boyfriend, plus my boyfriend and my sister. I got home around 12:30 at night, and the next day I woke up at 7:30 to go to church. I had DTDP classes then had nothing to do for 2 hours. I ended up going home and then going to church with Johnny & my sister at 5:30 ish. Afterwards, we dropped my sister at home and I took him to Goodwill so we could drop off clothes and then we bought food and I did my homework while he cleaned his closet. I got most of my math homework done but I'm still so confused. It's all really really hard. Haha, I don't get any of it. :/



Oh yeah, we had Little Royals Cheer Clinic. The last two hours of it were the longest MF hours of my life. Hahha. I went home to take a dump and kill time. The girls were cute and stuff but they started to get really annoying. But whatever. It was over in no time. Then I went shopping with Johnny and got my new camera charger and new batting gloves. It was nice. :) I really can't wait until I get my license. My parents can't wait either, shoot. Haha. I just want school to be over. I hate school so much.


I need to get my grades up.

Girl from Ipanema

I'm so sleepy right now.
edit://
I fucking hate this motherf class. so much. I swear to god, I'm gonna stab her. I'm so angry.

For Lily, not.

This was a freaking long time ago! Hahaha! Wow, let's do this again sometime.

Hawaii Monkey.

I hate not going to school making up all the school work you miss is terrible. It's like ten times worse then going to school cause you have like double the work now and a very limited amount of time to do it. I wanna take the whole week off, but I don't know if my parents are gonna let me. Haha, shoot! I went to the fastpitch game today and we definitely lost, but oh well. I got in trouble for driving to Kentridge and now my dad thinks I'm up to no good, but I guess that's life. Hahaa.

I need to learn how to be less competitive and less .. annoying. Haha. I need people to tell me when I'm talking to much because I really think I do talk a lot. Especially in Ms. Rue's class. My mouth is like running and running. I've been doing pretty well with this whole losing weight thing cause I've been sick, but I just ate a whole bag of chips today and a cup of clam chowder that tasted like sh-.

Remember when I used to sing all the time? Shoot, I really do miss that. :( Oh and my phone just died. Haha. I haven't charged it recently. Hahah!

Well, I'm gonna attempt to finish my homework. wtf. Hahaha, I hate school! I can't wait until it's over. Like two more months? I'm counting down!

i'm sick.

johnny came over and took care of me,
bradley mary & david randomly stopped by my house and I was pretty pissed.
the future's scary
my sister's a golddigga!
my back hurts like a MF
I'm not playing tomorrow's game
but I HAVE to play Thursday, I'm making myself
hahahaha, I hate school
I'm glad I didn't go
but I miss people!
I love the sun, but I'm stuck inside
People got me scared about this swine flu stuff

shoot I'm so sick right now!

Blogging from my phone, i'm loving weather right now. I was eating chips and i cut my mouth. Flight got delayed. Going to cheer in a bit, it's gonna be hell. Okay bye. :)

Help me find myself

I can't wait until I get my car so I can play ghost ride the whip, haha!

Lily and I are talking about Cheer right now and it seems like everytime I talk more and more about something, the more I realize I hate it. I've been grinding my teeth and like biting down on my jaw really really hard and now my teeth hurt so bad. My head kind of hurts and so does my stomach. I didn't shower yesterday so my hair smells like bad bad bad. I dyed Ana's hurr yesterday and it took so long! Haha, it looks nice though. I really like it. I want to dye my hair but then I don't. I cut it yesterday. Just a little trim and my layers are nicer looking. My grades are a whole bunch of shhhhhhhhh right now. I really wish I didn't slack off so much. Well, passing period, I'll blog in a little bit. :)

I'm on the bus going to kentwood for our game that i was hoping was gonna get canceled today. Haha. Blogging from my phone actually is kinda cool huh. I'm really sleepy right now and i want to eat a lot, but i'm not going to.

I've always hated this class.

Wow, I realized that over the school year, I've changed a lot. It's only been like 7 months since school started,

I'm cocky,

I have a attitude,
I'm lazy,

I gained 20 lbs (HOLY COW)

I don't get my work in on time,

I'm not motivated,

I skip school,

None of these things have changed.

But I realized that

I've gotten a lot taller compared to Priscilla,

I've gotten a whole lot bigger in general,

I'm more nice, generous and considerate, *but I always have been, soo...

People change over time, I just did... a whole lot faster than others. Haha. I really want to go shopping, I'm trying to find money around my house and do whatever I need to get it. Which reminds me, I need to apply for jobs if I don't get that Wildwaves one. :( I will serioulsy be so sad if I don't! Awwwwwwwh. But oh well, I'll find a place to work. I really want my license, but I don't want my license. I'm so indecisive, jeez. Haha.

So we're not going to California in the summer so that relieves a lot of stress for me, but that also makes me sad. Haha. I wanted to go visit! :( Oh well,

home can wait, right?

I pretty much blog about nothing nowadays.

My throat hurts.

Ms. J just broke the news to us that she's preggo, hahaa. Even though it's hella obvious. :) I really do like her. She's great! I'm probably not going to school on Friday. I wanna go to Alki & maybe shopping in downtown cos I'm going to California for the weekend for emergencies. Who wants to go?! I'll pick you up. :) Lolol.

Uhm, Science WASL was boojie. I failed that like so easily, I don't even know why. There's a lot of things I need to do the next few months of school,
Get my grades up,
Leadership,
Multicultural Assembly/Sadies,
Cheer,
Fastpitch/Watanabe,
I don't know anymore. Haha.

I need to get a new phone. Priscilla wants the Samsung Epix, Johnny wants the Blackberry Bold, and Johnny's mom wants my phone, haha! When I get monies, I'll get em all.

Wow, I really need to get out of the house/neighborhood. Hang out more.

10 reasons to smile from about.com

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive
We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in.

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood
Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There's a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious
When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress
Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don't go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day -- you'll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive
Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It's hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that "Life is Good!" Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling

so much food.

I just got confirmed today! hooray. I feel like super Catholic right now. Haha, it's a good feeling. I've never been so holy. Actually I have. It feels nice having to re-new that feeling after a long term of BAD DECISIONS. There's a lot of people at my house right now and it's fun having these people over! I love them a lot alot and this is why I realized that I don't really need friends, because my family is the best! But I also love my friends. Like a lot. I'm wearing Nathan's yellow sweater right now and it feels nice to wear.

Wildwaves interview today, hella scary, not gonna lie. There was a lot of people there and I hate hearing people who got like 2nd interviews and they. They said they'll keep in touch with my, and like whatever. But I don't know. I'm applying other places just in case I don't get the job. Damn my age. Lol. I have to be so young, huh! Oh well, I'll make money somehow. If not, then I'll enjoy another stressfree boring summer! Haha, I'm excited for my license so I can be like in & out whenever, but I'm really gonna limit that.

I think I'm gonna work at Fred Meyers, it's close and uhm, exciting. :) Not.

pregnant.

NOT.

but my stomach really does hurt, and I feel like I'm gonna barf. Ms. Rue just came in and yelled at me (not really) for not giving her back the camera. Sorry, Rueski! We're going over WASL stuff in Biology right now and that makes me want to cry. Haha, I'm so bad at Science and I don't wanna take the WASL on Monday. I'm just gonna make sure I get lots of sleep so it'll be okay. Haha. Right? I'm pretty sure I'll do well.

Lots of events going on in the next few weeks.
Getting Confirmed on Saturday + Open Interview Fair @ Wildwaves.
I'm going to surprise emergency California next weekend. Friday Night - Sunday morning.
April 30th, Career Day?
May 2nd, Nathan gets confirmed I think.
May 5th, Nashelle's Birthday
May 7th, Lilichka's and Rykiel's Birthday
May 8th, Multicultural Assembly
May 9th, Sadies!
May 27th, Birthday
May 29-31, Relay for Life & DTDP Camp

I really do hope I get my license on time. I think I'm going to Diamond today to FINALLY take my Driver's Ed test. Haha. I was really supposed to do that a few months ago but I've gotten too lazy. I need to give Lilichka her book back as well. Bahaha.

I had a nice time yesterday talking with Johnny about Life. It was interesting to see how different our aspects are on different topics. But in the end we kind of came to a consensus on how we see things and we're kind of alike. Haha. "f*** that 'opposites attract' bullshit, if you don't like the same things then you're not gonna get along!" - Nathan. Tehehe.

Nathan is the coolest kid ever. Hopefully he'll be able to go to Confirmation ceremony, cos I really want to go to his. Lalala!

Well Ms. J thinks I'm up to no good, so good day.

Wow. Blog from my phone.

Dee N Aye.

the fancy double helix, huh.

Ralph just told me that when I wear no jacket, I look a lot more buff than I usually do. Haha, I wear sweatshirts to make me look smaller, and when I take it off, it's like. Wow, cute body. :) Haha, too bad I've been gaining a butt load of weight. :( I'm working on it. Lol.

So I basically failed my math test. I'm still surprised that I'm still maintaining a C- in that class. I need to prioritize the next couple days, weeks, and months. Cos my grades are going crazy!

I'm the biggest procrastinator on the heart of this planet right now. Haha. I whine & complain a lot to my teachers and now they hate me. But whatever, I'm leaving them for good next year. I really wish I had some more male teachers, cos these femmes are killing me. Too emotional, too personal, too blunt, it kills. I need a little spice in my life.

I really need to go do my religious myths project because it's due at midnight tonite for me, but i'm so lazy!

I'm onna boat.

I just realized that I'm a really bad girlfriend. Haha. (and I make a lot of lists, and here's another one)

1. I never talk on the phone, but I talk a lot a lot when we text.
2. I never show my emotions ever. haha.
3. I'm the biggest jerk in jerk history.
4. Yeah pretty much.

CWI sucks, my grades suck, i hate life. jk.
but i really want summer & birthday to go.

I don't know if I told you this but starting May 1st, I'm not going to talk about my birthday once. Just to see who'd remember. Hahahahaa.

fuck up.

just go ahead let your hair down.

I realized only a couple hours ago that I'm really bad at making people feel better when they're in crappy situations. Like, when someone starts crying in front of me, I have no idea what to do. When someone's mad, I have no idea how to cheer them up. Like... it shouldn't be that hard right? But it's definitely a struggle for me. I never knew how much worse I made situations for people. I should just shut up sometimes and not even try because it will go no where with me. Sorry!

Jesus rises to heaven! Yummy. I can play video games and I'm now a free woman! Haha, just kidding. I still got stuff on the lockdown for my homeboy, J. I really have to start getting my head out of my butt and start working hard for school. Cause shoot, my grades are gonna start dropping quicker than Lindsey Lohan's pants if I keep on working like this. I don't mind staying up at night, but I can't always guarantee I'll always be awake during the day. Which is 10x worse because I'm missing loads of instruction. Oh well.

I'm definitely looking forward to a lot of things.
1. My birthday (I get my license!)
2. One3one, who wants to go?!
3. DTDP Camp (sadly it's the same weekend as Relay for Life, so I can't go! Sorry Sue, I love you girl!)
4. California in July! WHAT'S GOOD SANTA CRUZ.
5. End of fastpitch season in general.
6. End of school.

I get confirmed this Saturday and I'm scared shitless. Lol. The wildwaves interview thing is also Saturday. (SUE?! LILY?!) I wanna go because for some odd reason, I really want that job. But that means I'll have to lose loads of pounds to look good in that cute one piece & shorts. :) I'm trying to get that summer body I've wanted for like 3 years but I'm such a sluffer. Haha. But I'm excited.

Goals for now:
1. Eliminate bad words from my vocabulary (it's already almost there)
2. Get my act together (school wise & Jesus)
3. Stay home & help Momma.
4. Chicks before Dicks
5. Negative 10 lbs. Haha.

love has no distance.

I'm so high on life & love right now. It's great.

I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I don't let things of the past bother me.

Like for example, if someone has a bad reputation, I don't think of that when I'm with them, because it really doesn't matter to me. But a bad rep is a bad rep. I mean, they must have done something to get it. Haha, right? But I really look past that. I mean, it doesn't matter to me, a lot. Though it should. I don't know where I'm doing with this, but whatever. :)

Twitter is funny : twitter.com/quantumphysixcs

Word vomit is the worst.

i need a new phone.

actually I don't, I just want one. Haha.
tbc.

Cause my head I'll be right there where you are.

So I've made a lot of the bad decisions in my life (ahhaha, blog name = bad decisions) and like, I really need to think of what really matters to me. I need to set my priorities straight and think of the things that really do matter. Who I want in my life, who I NEED in my life, and who doesn't really matter. I mean, there are a lot a lot a lot of things that I want but a lot of those things are materialistic, and they aren't things that will benefit. I don't always make the most logical decisions ALL the time, but I mean, at least I acknowledge these things, right?

I had a nice long long long talk with Nathan earlier this night, and I'm happy I did. I realized a lot of things.
1. I'm a bitch.
2. I'm really really ignorant and oblivious
3. I'm hella fcking selfish, shit !

Like, I need to fix these things before it gets out of hand.
The nicest thing I heard today from who I least expected it was
"No matter where you leave me, I'll still be here."

thankssssss !

Knock You Down

Holy granola, it was so sunny today. I can feel the summer heat coming along! :) I'm so excited. My summer is gonna consist of driving around, exploring, lots of shopping, work, frans & house parties, and catching up on love. Haha. I'm kind of excited of the thought of so much freedom when I'll have my license, but I really don't want it. It'll be a lifetime of sin once I get handed that plastic card. I'm going to try my best to hang out at the minimum of like once a week only. And if it's more than that, then I'm giving myself a curfew of 7pm, because I really don't want my parents worrying about me or being disappointed in me, or telling me that I'm not spending a lot of time at home. I hate that because I really do love home. And it's always family first ! :)

But I need to go rent Pineapple Express because I want to watch that movie again. :) Who wants to watch with me!

oh and I get confirmed in like two weeks, and I'm scared out of my mind!

try to aim better.

and God had to make women so stinking moody all the time didn't he?
Definitely the worst week ever this year, and I'm so excited for Spring Break.
Time to get away, think for myself, etc.

151 rum, pineapple juice & malibu, caribou, getem all numb.

Not a good, week. Too much stuff going on.
I found out some bittersweet news today, but I don't know.
It was bound to happen. I feel really bad for him, and things will be very different next year,
but let's hope it's for the better. :)

Nathan is a cool kid. I enjoy talking to him about life & girlfriends. It was very nice catching up with him yesterday although it didn't really go as planned. I'm trying to live with no regrets, but it's really hard when you have so many people around you disappointed in you. Haha. My biggest fear is the fear of me disappointing my loved ones in the future. I'm so sure I'll change after that. I talked to Jesus yesterday and he kind of helped me throw in some sense into my brain, but otherwise, I don't know.

Lots of stuff going on, and I just want spring break to come. Hopefully nothing goes wrong next week because then April will be ruined. I'm sorry.

Okay bye.

bad decisions mother f.

what the fuck.
i'm fucking up so early it's not even ... like what the hell are you doing quan?!
Lily's right, some things ARE better unsaid, but I made a good decision cause I told him what was going on right? Like, better me telling him than having him find out. Or better me telling him than having him not know at all and having it be in the back of my conscience. If it's done, then it's done, whatever. I'll miss it even though it's still early, but I don't efn know anymore, shit.

Today was fun, under my balcony & my umbrella with water bottles pens 7up etcetera. but still, I'm pissed. I've been having the worst week of my whole entire life. I don't know, I'm not ready to have people leave me next year yet and I'm just like tweaking over nothing. I can't wait until spring break, my goodness. dskjfaslkdjfsaldkfjsa;df.

I just need some Jesus time.
It was a one time thing and one time only. That's it, I'm done.